Journey

So I am taking a break about writing about pregnancy and babies, because let’s face it, there is more to my life than building and preparing for a little one. Besides experiencing pregnancy this year, I've also been busting my hump at my new job. I am a Victim Services Specialist at Mother’s Against Drunk Driving in Fort Worth. Apparently 400 applicants applied and they picked me. It’s a compliment, but it adds a little pressure too. With having a Master’s degree and working for one of the top Non-profits in the country, it puts you on another level and it has been hard in my opinion to hold up to the expectations and standards that are expected of me, especially when you’re pregnant and you feel blah all the time.

This isn't my first time working with victims of crime. Of course the whole reason why I changed my major from journalism to criminal justice was because I was effected by crime eleven years ago. The way I was treated in the criminal justice system made me so mad, that it made me change my major and help victims of crime. I became a crime victim advocate and been focusing on crime victims since 2003. My focus in grad school was on restorative justice and crime victims and did my thesis project on how victims of crime should have more of a voice, and more opportunities to heal from the crimes they have been effected by. My work is slowly getting recognized as my project will be a main focus on the Oregon Restorative Justice Coalition website.

Meeting victims and hearing stories about those effected by drunk driving is harder than I thought. You really have to watch how you process these stories and it can really effect you and how you view the world. You hear, read or see disturbing things that can really mess up your mind. That is why it’s important to make sure you have a strong support system outside of work. Thankfully I do and since I've been involved in this type of work, I know what works for me and doesn't work.

Even though I am technically doing what I went to school for, I still feel a void and feel like I should be doing more. I am really missing the area of restorative justice and it’s hard not to be able to bring up restorative justice to victims when an organization you work for doesn't approve this form of justice or healing for victims. I know I am where I am supposed to be…for now, but I know there is more out there for me. I have been encouraged lately by simple posts made on my online teaching site I had to create for a class last year. It made me think about other opportunities that I could check into, but still focus on restorative justice and helping victims.

Although, it is annoying not being content with where I am, I know that I am not done growing with my journey. It will be exciting to see where I end up and the impact I make on people. I think most people feel this way as they grow, so I know most of you know how I feel. I think it is important to strive for your full potential instead of being in the same position for years and years and cutting yourself short.