The love of my life

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

I will never forget April 15, 2005. It was a nice sunny warm day. I had worked all day long at a woman's health fair and was looking forward to going home and getting ready for a big date I had that night. I was nervous. I hadn't been on a date for a while because guys in the past didn't impress me and was tired of getting disappointed. However, I had a different feeling about the date I was about to go on. I thought I would give this guy a chance and see what happens.

My date showed up early. I had just gotten home and didn't have time to get ready. My sister answered the door (as I was brushing my teeth). I finish up and greeted my date at the door. My first impression was "wow, this guy doesn't look too bad!" He was wearing jeans, a nice button down shirt, a black wool jacket, black vans, hair was gelled with a little spike and he smelled sooo good. I introduced my date to my mom and of course my sister and then we were off to go see the movie "Sahara." I don't really remember the movie to be honest. I was still nervous and I kept looking at this handsome fella out the corner of my eye. After the movie, we were both starving, so we went to Red Robin. I had a chicken caesar salad and he had chicken strips with fries. We had great conversation and I quickly became impressed by my date. I quickly realized that he was special and that he would be in my life for a very long time.

We finished eating and I figured it was time to go home (especially since I had to be somewhere early the next morning), but apparently he didn't want to take me home yet. So we went and played pool. He had to teach me since I never did it before. I was awful, but that's ok. He then took me home and we both said goodnight. I left feeling good about the night and was actually looking forward to a possible second date. A second date did happen two days later and that's when I knew that my date would eventually be my husband and the love of my life.

John and I met in our law research class in January 2005. I actually talked to him first because at the beginning of the term, we had to introduce ourselves to each other and I took notice that we had interests in common and I admired his goals as a person. We talked back and forth for a couple of months until he said we should "hang out sometime." At first I was hesitant, because I was afraid I would end up dating another jerk, but something in my heart and gut said to go for it. I am so glad I did.

Three months after we started dating, he proposed to me. The proposal wasn't anything special, but at the time I had been dealing with pneumonia and hadn't been feeling well for a couple of weeks. He had been taking care of me and he wanted to make me feel better by asking me to marry him. I know that many people were in shock and I am sure some where not happy about the sudden proposal, but we didn't care what people thought. We were both adults and who has the right to say who we can and can't love?

May 13, 2006 was the best day ever! Our wedding day was perfect. I didn't want to leave our reception because I was having so much fun! The last five years of marriage has had it's up's and down's. We have gone through a lot (family tragedies, health problems, job losses, moving, etc, etc) but I wouldn't change a thing. Being a wife is my favorite thing in the whole world.

My husband is a great man. I see him change into a better man every day. I am often impressed and thankful for his intelligence, talents, loyalty, faithfulness, honor and love he brings to our little family. I am really lucky to have him as a husband because he is far from a 'dead beat' like many other wives have as husbands. My man is always looking for opportunities to better himself and us. He is legit.

I don't know how I got so lucky. Over time, I can see more and more of why we are together. I love the fact that sometimes we think or blurb out the same things at the same time. We are very connected at times! God willing, I hope that we will be able to spend many years together and see each other turn gray (well...I have some grays, but you know what I mean). I love you John Michael-Eric Lehr!!!

My top ten memories with *him*

1. Our first date

2. Wedding day

3. Honeymoon

4. Our trip to the water park in California and feeding the dolphins

5. Seattle

6. Our weekend drives

7. Concerts

8. Trips to the beach

9. Graduating together

10. Getting our dogs

Mom & Dad

Thank you, Mom

Thank you, Dad

Three small words.
So much to add.
For all your love
and your support
a million words
would be too short.
The words, "I love you"
seem too few
to express the love
I have for you.

-anonymous

I have really great parents! I am lucky to still have both parents that are STILL married and are still in love. Growing up, I remember a lot of my friends having divorced parents and having to take turns every other weekend. I am so glad that I didn't have to go through that growing up. My Mom and Dad are the best. They have always been there for me and has supported me through thick and thin. 

My Dad is one of the hardest workers I know. He is always working (which does have it's downsides), but he know he is the leader of the Wolff pac and needs to support us as a family. I admire my dad's ambitions and his talents as a businessman, a woodworker and of course a husband and father. The older I get, the more I see my Dad in myself. We have a lot in common, such as: our mysterious facial expressions, hard working, traditional, having strong morals and values and being picky about what's appropriate to see and hear on T.V., movies, etc...(note, we were not allowed to watch rated R movies growing up. In fact, it took begging and pleating to even watch PG 13 movies!).

Even though I did not agree at some of the things dad didn't let us do or see at the time, I now see reasons why he thought the way he thought or acted the ways he did. He is a protector of his women (Mom, Erin and me). There needs to be more dad's like mine. Dad's who are honest, honorable, has integrity, respectful, faithful, and loving.

My top 10 memories of my Dad:

1. Wresting

2. Rescuing a skunk

3. Teaching me how to drive

4. Forgetting to pick me up one day after school in 2nd grade

5. Recording a commercial on the radio

6. Teaching me how to tie my shoes

7. Going to Huntington Beach, CA

8. Going to Las Vegas, NV and going on top of the Stratosphere

9. Basketball

10. Walking me down the aisle at my wedding and doing our special hand shake

My Mom is a very special woman. I admire her strengths and talents. I have seen many dynamics of my mom growing up. I've seen her in a professional setting, as a student and a stay at home mom and taking care of us kids. I always loved coming home from school and knowing my mom would be home. It was comforting to know that she would be there, especially when it was a tough day at school. My Mom sacrifices a lot for our family and I have never heard her complain. One of the things I am most proud of is that my Mom graduated college last year and made history in the family. She is the only family member in her family that has a college degree! Go Mom!

I also see a little bit of my Mom in myself. Again, we are hard working, loving, creative, and smart. My Mom is the 'strong tower' in the Wolff pac and I am so grateful that I have a wonderful Mom that has always been there for me and has taught me valuable skills and lessons that a girl should experience from their mothers. 

My top10 Memories of my Mom

1. Girl Scouts

2. The Adventurous/Back packing/cycling trips

3. Scrapbooking

4. Wedding dress shopping

5. Band concerts

6. Shopping

7.Talking on the phone

8. Graduation

9. Being in the parades

10. Camping

I love you Mom and Dad! Thank you for everything! XOXO

Sister, Sister

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life."
-- Isadora James
For 9 years of my life, I was an only child. I remember always wanting a sister, mainly to have someone to play with and have a real true friend. I knew that wasn't possible because my mom's doctor told my mom after a tubal pregnancy when I was 3ish that she wouldn't be able to have any more children.

I remember I was in 3rd grade and my mom had lunch with me at school. She said "I have a surprise for you, but Dad and I will tell you when you get home from school." I was trying to guess what it was, but my mom wouldn't tell me. I remember when I got home and sitting on the chair in the living room, mom and dad looked real excited and my dad said that I was going to have a brother or sister. I remember oddly asking "do we get to keep it?" I guess I've never really been good with my words...but it was shock and confusion that set in because I couldn't believe I was going to be a big sister.

For many months, I prayed and prayed and even wished on my birthday candles on my 9th birthday that I would get a sister since. All summer I couldn't wait until the due date, which was towards the end of August/beginning of September. On September 4th, my dad woke me up in the middle of the night saying it was time to go to the hospital. What timing that was since that was the first day of 4th grade and my mom and dad promised me that I could be there for the delivery. Also, I remember styling my hair some funky way and I had to go to the hospital with my bangs sticking up in the air and my hair looking like a mess...real embarrassing for a 4th grader. 

I have to be honest, labor was boring! We waited a long time and it was hard to see my mom in pain, especially when the baby was not positioned correctly and was pushing on her back. It was noon and the doctor said "it's time." I got super excited. 30 minutes went by and the baby came out. Guess what it was?? A girl!!! Yes, my wish came true. I was the happiest girl in the world.

Having a baby in the house was interesting, but mom and dad let me help. I learned at a young age on how to change diapers, feed babies, put them to sleep, etc. I even had to rescue my sister two times because she was choking on a frito and a penny. Actually, back to the frito incident...I remember a couple of days before that, I watched a morning show and they showed what to do if your baby is choking. I remember listening closely because I figured that information would come in handy. I remember when Erin was choking and my mom couldn't get it out. I said "let me try." I applied what I learned from the show and sure enough, it worked. I was so proud of myself.

Having a sister was different than I thought. In fact, when she was a toddler, she was so annoying. She would destroy my things and I couldn't have a clean room because she would mess things up. Argh! However, those years went by quickly. It's funny when people ask me if I have any siblings. Of course I say yes and that we are 9 years apart. I love the looks and response I get. They always ask if there is anyone in the middle. I say nope! And they still look confused. 

I almost lost Erin when I was 17. My dad had some bee boxes on our 10 acre property. One afternoon, my dad went to check out the bees and Erin went with. Erin got stung and my mom took her to the house to get some benadryl just in case she got any reaction since this was her first time getting stung by a bee. We had just enough medicine. Within minutes, she started to change. She got pale looking, her skin started to rash and she was puffing up like a marshmallow right in front of me. Then she said she couldn't breathe. Of course my mom called 911.Since we lived out in the country, any emergency assistance would take longer than usual. We were all confused...and freaking out. The ambulance arrived and was able to help Erin. The paramedic said that if my mom hadn't have given Erin the benadryl, she would have died. Turns out Erin is deathly allergic to bee stings (obviously). Shortly after, the bee boxes went away and my dad retired from that hobby.

For being 9 years apart, Erin and I are really close. I do admit we had our rough moments when she was in high school. We fought a lot and didn't see eye to eye, but we are starting to grow closer again. Erin graduated last year from high school and now she is in beauty school. I am so proud of her. I really admire how hard she works and that she is pursuing what she always has wanted to do. Even though she has only been in beauty school since February, she does great work and I am even impressed by her skills.

The only sad thing is that we don't live near each other. We live about 5 hours away. It's really hard because I miss having sister, sister time and doing fun things together. But it seems that when we are together, it's like distance hasn't hindered us at all. I love that.

I am so thankful that God provided Erin in my life. I will always cherish the memories we had and the memories we will create in the future.

Here is my top ten favorite memories I have had with Erin:

1. The day she was born
2. The last night of our Hawaii trip
3. Erin visiting me in college
4. Being my maid of honor at my wedding
5. Spending the weekend just us two as mom and dad went away
6. Riding the bus home from school
7. Dressing up and putting make up on each other and pretending we were at the Oscars
8. Graduation
9. Girl Scouts
10. *Sparkles*

I LOVE YOU ERIN!!! YOU ARE THE BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD!!!

Maybe, Baby?

Ha, not yet. In the last 5 years (since we have been married), occasionally we get asked the question, "so when are you going to have kids?" We both awkwardly laugh and say "sometime." To be honest, I am starting to get the baby itch. I think some of it is that I'm being influenced by the women around me. Last year alone, I knew about 10 of my friends who had babies. This year, 2 of my friends had sweet little ones and a couple of my friends are currently prego and are due next year. Since I have been married for 5 years and I am 29, I do admit that I'm feeling the pressure to have a baby, but also wanting to add to the family. I have been for about a year now. I'm very curious about what it's like to be pregnant, give birth and raise a child. I have been reading the book, "What to expect when your expecting." and I recently bought the follow up book (for 25 cents) and been reading about what to expect at age 1. There is a lot of valuable information in those books. Things I didn't even think about! I do like the part where it talks about pre-pregnancy. Again, lots of information.  

For the last 3-4 weeks, my pastor has been discussing parenting and roles that parents have when raising a child. His sermons have been very interesting and informative, especially when I don't even know what it's like to raise a child. But what he said was information I/we needed to hear. John and I have had the baby talk. We determined that we are not ready, but soon. I don't want to raise my child in a 2 bedroom townhome. I think a baby deserves a home, big enough to crawl around and explore in the back yard, and have resources it needs to be healthy. I want to be able to provide my child with opportunities and a great family life. I really think that is important and that is what I want. 

Last Sunday at the last parenting sermon, it totally hit me that God will provide a child in our lives in the future, but not right now. I am still growing as a woman, as a wife...and still trying to master who I am and who I want to become. John is doing the same. I feel relieved about this because I was feeling worried and anxious. But I know God has a plan. We may not be the "typical" family, but that's okay. Who says we have to start a family a year or two after we get hitched?

So, until we hear the words "your pregnant," I will continue to educate myself about pregnancy and parenting, but also learn more about myself, about my husband...and master what we have going on now before deciding to add to the Lehr household. I am excited for what's ahead in our future...and what we will learn and experience.

Doggy, Dog Life

Dogs. They are very unusual, but yet lovable creatures. I have 2 dogs. One, is a black lab named Katie (who is 4) and a chocolate lab named Riley (who is 1 1/2). Yep...we own 2 labs..and yes, we KNOW now that we are crazy. It's amazing how both dogs are alike, but yet so different.

Katie was a valentines gift for me from John the year we were first married. I remember a couple of days before valentines day that I specifically said "I'm not ready for a dog and the responsibility right now." Oddly enough, a 8 week old puppy entered our home a few days later. Katie is a different dog. She is very needy. She whines all the time, barks at every little noise and can really get on your nerves...fast! But what I love about her is how her little ears flap in the wind when she sticks her head out of the window of the car. I love how she cuddles next to me when I take a nap, watch a movie or even do homework. I also think it's funny that she doesn't like kids. Seriously...she barks at them and gets anxious when she hears a baby cry. This could be a problem in a couple of years when we have a little one, but that's something to worry about later. :) Over time, she has become a good dog, but still has some behavioral issues time to time. Katie is and will always be my valentine puppy.

Riley or should I say Romeo...is a lover and a cutie pie. John and I got to know Riley when he was born. We were on a breeders waiting list. Our breeder gave us notice when Mocha (Riley's mom) had her babies. Our breeder posted up pictures weekly of all the puppies and a description of how they were doing, etc. By week 4, we got to go visit the puppies. We were interested in a male dog because John was tired of being the only man in the house lol. Mocha had 3 male puppies. A "yellow" one, "orange" and "blue" (which was Riley). I fell in love with all 3 puppies. However, there was one family in front of us on the wait list that got to pick before us, so I was trying not to get too attached. On week 6, we went back to visit the puppies. I remember they were getting so big. I still wasn't trying to get attached, but I really liked "blue." Then week 8 came and we were able to actually take our puppy home. I was hoping to take home "blue." When we pulled up to the breeders home, who was waiting for us at the door step? "Blue!" I was so happy and because he was waiting for us, it was a sign that he was meant for us.

When we got home and introduced "Blue" to Katie, it was interesting to say the least. Katie was hyper as usual, and Riley was freaked out, but within the hour, Riley and Katie were, and still are best friends. Riley grew like a weed, which we didn't expect since Katie grew slow and she is small. As of January, Riley was 80lbs and Katie is 50lbs.

Because of how strong Riley is, I often times get frustrated with him because he over powers me. I know he doesn't realize what he is doing, but getting hurt by him is not fun. It's funny to see Katie and Riley play. They can play really rough, but they still play with their tails wagging. Riley and I have a special bond. Though, Riley can get very jealous because of this. If I am petting Katie, then Riley will literally push Katie out of the way so he can get a pat on the head. If John is sitting by me on the couch and he get's up to get something, Riley will quickly sit in John's place until he is forced to move. It's funny to watch him. The other night, I was feeling a bit sad and I was laying on the bed. Riley jumped up and laid next to me and he put his chin on my shoulder. I could tell he knew I was sad and was trying to comfort me. Then came Katie and she laid next to me too. I felt so much love between these two dogs.

Both of these dogs are my guard dogs. They are very protective of me..and even John. Even though I don't think he needs protection since he has a black belt in taekwondo...:)

Even though I often feel like the movie Marley and Me is based upon my life, I love my dogs. It's amazing what dogs can bring into a family and in a persons heart.

The shell life....

Well, I did it. I finished my first year of grad school! This time next year, I will be graduating and also preparing to move (hopefully somewhere warmer and not as rainy!!!). This last year has been interesting to say the least. I have learned a lot, not only about conflict resolution, but about myself too. I've also have been re-reminded that being shy and quiet, sucks.

Since moving to Portland 3 years ago, I have been in my shell that I can't get out of. The move really got to me. I moved away from family, friends and from a job that I enjoyed and where I had confidence and really felt like I was good at something. Even though I have lived here for 3 years, I'm still adjusting...and still trying to get out of my shell. I hate being in this shell. Seriously!

It makes it even harder when my husband who is a "chatty Kathy" and is able to get all of these opportunities because he socializes and get's out there. I admit, I get jealous because I want opportunities too, but I have a hard time getting out there. I've been cursed by the shy bug my whole life, and my whole life I have been watching from the sidelines and that's no fun. Problem is, I don't know how to get out and achieve things for myself. I think some of it is fear. In the past, when I have been more outgoing, I got hurt in many ways and lost trust in a lot of people. I'm afraid that if I get out there, I will get hurt again. Isn't that pathetic?

With being in grad school, I've slowly been able to get out there, but it's still hard. Especially when I feel like no one likes me. I look forward to this time next year, not only because I will be achieving a Master's degree, but next school year will be very different and I'm having to get out there. I recently been accepted to the Insight Development Group (for my practicum), which is where I will be going to a prison once a week and leading facilitation's with inmates who have committed all types of crime, such as murder, sexual assault, robbery, drugs, etc. I am scared to death. Not because of being with inmates, but because I have to talk in front of these people! But I think this experience will be good for me in a lot of different ways. I just hope eventually I will be able to climb out of my shell and be who I want to be.