Friends

Sometimes I wish life wasn’t so hard to figure out. It’s like a constant roller coaster that never stops. Life is just full of up’s and down’s. Lately, I’ve been more down. I don’t know if it’s because the last three months have been stressful due to our house fire and adjusting to the changes or if there is something going on that is bigger and deeper. Or maybe it’s the weather…it’s been pretty gloomy here, which is one of the main reasons why I don’t want to move back to Oregon.

Also, I’ve been questioning a lot of people these days. For example, we have some friends we have known for a long time. We have shared life together, so you would think those friends would share something exciting with us. Did they? No. We had to find out via Facebook…three months later. This doesn’t hurt as much as when I really opened up last year and shared really personal things. I felt good and felt like we bonded and our friendship grew closer, but ever since I took initiative to really open up (which is really hard for me to do), I got burned as this person hasn’t talked to me since. This is why I hate making friends sometimes.

This person has made me so mad and I hate how I have been so wrapped up about getting dissed by my “friend.” Obviously, I don’t need this in my life, but why is it so hard for me to get over it? I think the answer is that I just want a friend and I thought I found someone who could be that person, but obviously I was wrong.

Another thing that has been bothering me about people is that I feel like we (John and I) are constantly being judged. I think we are liked by many, but then I think we are segregated by some due to jealousy. It’s like, who can you trust these days? Apparently, not many.

I do appreciate those who are genuinely our friends. I hope you know who you are. I love how I can come to them and share my strengths, weaknesses and struggles. I have learned a lot from friends and I hope they learn from me (us) as well. Thank you to all of my new and old friends who have been there for me (us) and actually enjoy being friends. I hope that these friendships will grow bigger and better and that we will always accept one another for who we are, even if we may not agree on certain things.

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” 
― Elbert Hubbard