Getting it Done...Kinda

I can't believe its almost October. I cant wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends. 

Anyway, as previously stated, I was debating if I wanted to get my teaching licence. I have now come to the conclussion that I will not be pursuing that at this time. I have been looking and listening to answers and I have met a few teachers that have told me (without me asking them about teaching)to reconsider   being a teacher because of the politics within the school districts and other stuff teachers have to deal with. I feel at peace with my decision and so its something I can cross of my list. It feels good.

One thing I can't wait to cross off my list is graduate school. I am so close to being done, but I am soooooo burned out, that I have a hard time just editing and writing 5 pages of my thesis. I worked on it a little this weekend and It did feel good to get some of it done, but grad school is just a heavy cloud that keeps following me day after day. I know to get rid of the cloud is do the work, but the motivataion is not there. I know that once I am finished with my thesis and presentation I will probably break down and cry because I will be so thankful it is done. Grad school was a lot of work and I am proud that I went and did well in school. I learned a lot too, but I will never go back to school for another degree. :) 

I am looking forward to what my degree will lead me. I am hoping that one day I can  work for myself or work for myself part time. I have a lot to offer and I just can't wait to get to a place where I can really shine and be appreciated off my work. 

A Week in Review: Police Reports, Emergency Rooms, and Pain Medication.

September has been an interesting month so far. Lots of trying moments that leave me question what am I supposed to learn through all of these moments. 

I think Monday was the only best day of the week and usually I hate Mondays. Tuesday morning we woke up to our garage open and our cars had been gone through. Luckily they only took Johns watch that I gave him for his birthday and my work bag. The joke is on them because the only thing in my work bag was a bunch of papers, lesson plans and markers. Wednesday I battled morning traffic and it almost took me 2 hours to go 30 miles. So frustrating. Then later that night at taekwondo, I was sparring against John and I fell and landed on my shoulder and he landed on top of me. I was proud that I kept me cool and didn't start crying (even though I wanted to). I just waited until we got in the parking lot and that is when I lost it, haha. 

John took me to the emergency room because we thought my collar bone was broken. We were at the emergency room for only an hour! I think that is a record and the doctor and hospital staff were really nice, again, a first for me. Luckily I didn't break anything and I just have a bad sprain. Thursday I woke up feeling really, really sore. I couldn't move at all. I also felt sick to my stomach every time I sat up or tried to walk. The only solution was to lay down. I had to stay home from work, however, I had my job interview later that day!!!! I managed to somehow get ready for it, but I did terrible at the interview. I felt like I was going to throw up through the whole interview and I couldnt answer the questions effectivly. Ugh!

After the interview I had to go to the store to get my perscription filled. By this time I was also starving and thought getting a snack would maybe help my stomach. So while I waited for my perscription to be filled, I sat down at Starbucks and drank an iced tea and a little snack. During the whole time I was there, I prayed that I wouldn't throw up at the store and that I could have enough strength to get my medicine and make it home. Thankfully I did end up getting the strength and made it home in time to throw up in the proper place. :) 

Friday I felt a little better and went to work, although I think my co-workers thought I was loony and even asked if I was feeling ok. I said no and later I went home because I was so uncomfortable and not feeling well. I was also bummed because I was supposed to belt test for taekwondo last night, but kind of hard to do that when your sick and crippled. :)  

Last night I slept horrible. I kept waking up feeling sick to my stomach, dizzy and sweating like a fever had broke. Plus my pain medicine makes me have crazy dreams. I am still feeling blah, but I am happy that I am able to move my arm and shoulder a bit more and I am not in tears anymore because of the pain. 

I wonder what next week has to offer. I hope its not as painful. :) 

*I appologize if this doesn't seem to make sense, Im still on my pain medicine. :)

Fall

Fall is in the air! I really miss seeing leaves turn colors. In Texas the grass gets brown and that's pretty much it. I love fall. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin candles and apple cider...my favorite.

To Teach or Not to Teach

Is it Friday yet?!? Ugh. I am exhausted and it is only Monday. I still haven't recuperated from last week. Last week was my first week teaching and I can tell I am out of "shape." I haven't taught since June, so I guess sitting in my cubical the last two months really screwed me up. My feet have been killing me since last Monday. My feet have been swollen and feel like they are bruised. What makes it worse is that on Saturday I went to try on some beautiful shoes at Target and I couldn't get the shoe to fit on the right foot! Sad. 

Here in a couple of weeks I should be back in "shape." I just can't wait until that day comes where I don't come home exhausted and pass out on the couch. It makes doing night time chores so hard when you can't move. 

Something I have been debating  for the last year is whether to get my teaching license. I feel so natural teaching, but the thought of going back to school makes me sick. I am still procrastinating my masters degree when all I really have to do is write 5ish or so more pages to my thesis and that is it. I am super burned out on school and that is why I cant figure out if I want to get my teaching license. But the thought of having summers and holidays off sounds nice. :) The only thing I can do is pray about it at this point. So we will see what happens. :)

Have you ever been confused as to what you want to do for your career? I have so many ideas and really wanting to get started with my career, but I feel like there are barriers that keep me from doing what  really love. I guess I have to be patient because I know that God wouldn't have allowed me to go through all of this schooling for nothing. :)

Wordless Wednesday

Making a Difference..in 'Da Hood

Phew. What a week. I am so glad its the weekend, a long weekend to be exact. I could use the extra R&R. I have been busy, mostly at work by getting trained with the new curriculum that I will be teaching, meeting the teachers I will be with this semester and mentally preparing for what is a head of me.

For those of you who don't know what I do, I am a prevention specialist at a non-profit agency and I mostly work with 6th graders in the Fort Worth school district. I go to 4 different schools Monday through Thursday every week and talk about their future goals, communication styles, bullying, drugs, alcohol, etc. The purpose is to delay or prevent kids in engage in any risky behavior and hope they will be able to achieve their goals and do something great with their lives instead of living a life of abuse and spending time in prison.

This will be my first semester having 4 schools on my own. Last semester when I was new to the job, I only had 1 school and shadowed the other 3 with my other co-workers at their schools. I have already had my wake up call. I am used to working with kids who have normal-ish lives, if that makes sense. The kids I work with now are inner-city kids. For some, you know what I am talking about, but to others, you may have an idea, but until you have worked with this population, you have no idea.

I often reference myself as Hillary Swank in the movie Freedom Writers. If you haven't seen the movie, its a movie about a white teacher teaching hard core African American and Hispanic high school kids and making a difference in their lives. That's me, except my kids are hard core 6th graders. When I was in 6th grade, I didn't know much about the real world or adult situations. These kids sadly know too much and have to experience things they shouldn't, especially at their age.

I have a love-hate relationship with my job. These kids drive me crazy, but I also know that these kids need some TLC. I can't get mad at these kids, because they don't know any better. For them, having a visit from CPS, seeing abuse in the home and fighting is normal. It is sad that they think violence is how you solve a problem and that having a baby at 16 is acceptable because that's the age their mom had them.

I am really nervous about the school year starting (I start September 9th). I know I am in this position for a reason and I hope that I can make a difference in these kids lives. I know that I will learn from them just as much as they will learn from me. So if you have any tips on classroom management or just working with at-risk kids, let me know.

Sister Time

Last Sunday instead of complaining about how fast John usually drives, this time I was telling him to hurry up as we were headed to the airport to pick up my sister who was coming to visit us from Oregon. I hadn't seen her in a year and I have been "sister sick," so I was really excited to see her and spend a whole week with her.

Last week was so fun. We went shopping, swimming, went to the zoo, watched movies, she did my hair and talked about life. We definitely got to have quality time together and I realized how similar we were. Usually I think I am the only one that makes odd sounding hiccups or laughs at their weirdest things, but now I know that my sister does the same thing. Its like I have discovered that I am not alone in my weirdness. Its refreshing. 

The day I was dreading came. Friday morning I had to take her to the airport  before I went to work. I have a love-hate relationship with airports, especially DFW because I have cried so many tears there in the last year because someone I love is leaving or I am (temporary) leaving them.  I told myself I had to keep it  together, which I did (sort of). I gave my sister a hug and then lost it when I saw her enter the airport and went up the escalator. In fact, I have been a mess the last four days because I didn't want to see her go and I wish she was still here.

I wish that she was living in Texas and we could see each other more. I know Texas is not the best place in the world. Believe me, I wish I lived on the West Coast, like California where there is palm trees and beaches, but that's another story (and I will eventually make it to Cali one day:) I have talked her ear off about it and while she was here, I told her how "glamorous" Texas was (HA!) and tried to introduce her to cute guys. :)

I want nothing but the best for her. She deserves nothing but the best and she deserves to be treated like a queen. Though we are nine years apart and at age 22, I know that its hard to move half way across the country to live with an old (31) year old big sister that is boring and has 3 crazy dogs and a husband. :) But big sisters know best, right?!? 

So we will see what happens. I just hope she had as much fun as I did and I hope she misses me too. I can't wait to see her in a couple of months, especially on our Christmas cruise!:)

This is us being crazy and weird. Love it!