Fourth Trimester

The last 10.5 weeks of motherhood has flown by. I have 1.5 more weeks to go and I will have survived the “fourth trimester” as they call it in parenting world. ‘They’ were not kidding about how exhausted you are and the amount of worrying you do at 3am and the tears your cry for no apparent reason. The first month for me was the hardest. Well, maybe the first six weeks. I don’t think I’ve been so exhausted in my life until Jonathan came into the world. I also don’t think I’ve worried as much either. Who would have thought I would worry about the amount of spit up he does or the color and the amount of poop in his diaper. One thing I didn’t realize before I had Jonathan was how protective I would become. I have always been protective of my family, but now that Jonathan is here, my mama bear claws are sharper than ever.

 Being a mom is hard. I have only “given” up once and have only got frustrated at Jonathan once, but let’s face it. When your changing your kids diaper in the middle of the night as your half asleep and your trying to button your kids pajamas as he’s screaming and kicking his legs, it’s just a matter of time before you lose it. Speaking of buttons, who was the “genius” who thought of putting a zillion buttons on pajamas? Let’s just stick with zippers, ok.

Another thing that has been weird getting used to was saying I have a son. I took Jonathan to a doctor’s appointment one time and they said “can I help you?” I looked at them and said “I have an appointment for my, uhhhh, ummmm, ummmm son.” They of course looked at me funny, but that’s when it really hit me that I have a son and I’m a mom. Then the room started spinning and I almost passed out, haha.

When I hold my baby and I look at his cute little fingers and toes and realize how vulnerable he is, I think about the other babies who are abandoned or not treated with love. I can’t fathom how a parent would harm their own children or wouldn’t give them love. It totally breaks my heart knowing that those parents are out there and little babies who can’t help themselves are in harm’s way every day. I hope that Jonathan realizes one day how lucky he is to have a mom and dad who loves him very much and that they would do anything for him.

Being a mom (and a wife) is the best thing ever. I love it. I am surprised at how much I love it. I can’t wait to go home from work every day to be with my family. I am blessed and thankful that I get to have the privilege to say I am a mother.

Psalm 127:3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Pictures property of Denise Lehr.